CALL FOR CONTRIBUTIONS
We are starting a magazine! JOKES it’s not a magazine, it’s just bits of paper stapled together. I will go very far out of my way to avoid saying or thinking the word “zine”, but here is the definition for that word: “a noncommercial often homemade or online publication usually devoted to specialized and often unconventional subject matter”, and so here we are, I spose.
Here is the story of how the magazine got started. My friend Sarah and I were driving to Cape Point, and we went past this:
Not the people, just the sign. See how it says, very clearly, CAPE TIMES? In the font familiar to the readers of the Cape Times? I didn’t. As we were driving past it, I pointed very dismissively out the window and said “Why the eff would you call your holiday camp CUTE TIMES? That’s very childish.”
And Sarah said “Well someone might ask why the eff you would think it was called CUTE TIMES when it very clearly says CAPE TIMES.” And then we said “That would be an amazing name for a magazine.”
Its name is no longer CUTE TIMES, although the spirit of CUTE TIMES lives on. Its name is probably going to be “Local Rasputin”, or “Everyday Rasputin”. No one likes the name very much, except the editorial board, but it makes me laugh every time I say it, which is also very much in the spirit of the thing. I am going to have a special Durbs edition, and if we stuck with this ridiculous name, then the name of that edition could be “Subtropical Rasputin”, which, lolllllllllllll. It’s not really going to be Rasputin-themed, but everyone who sits on the editorial board is a mega Rasputin fan, so you never know.
So far we have
- “I think my friend Tom has taken a luzzer, and Tom is not his real name” – written by me.
- An idea for an eavesdropping column (the person who suggested this is a highly regarded professional person, so I will leave their name out in case they get cross) called either “Overheard and Underwhelmed” or Ciao! Constantia
- An idea for a column, which I very much hope will be written by my brother, called “Popular Dog”. It will be about a new dog we have seen around town. Caitie’s puppy Teddy will feature heavily.
- Teddy broke his knee yesterday, which is very sad, but he is fine.
- Didn’t even know dogs had knees.
- A fake book reviews section. So far the two fake books I am reviewing are “The Social History of the Trampoline” and “ATTENTION PLEASE! An Oral History of the Loudhailer”
Please contribute, if you would like to. Send submissions to email@example.com. I hope it is clear from the above that you can do anything you want. Truly.