Happy Birthday Charles Darwin

by rosalyster

  1. You share a birthday with Anna Pavlova and Abraham Lincoln!
  2. I give this information two thumbs up, and regard it as a milestone in the slow journey towards accepting that astrology is real.
  3. What other explanation can there be? You are three of the most famous people ever to arrive on the scene, you all three changed the way things get done around here, you all have those weird kind of old-fashioned faces, you are all what they call “animal-lovers”, AND you are all born on the same day. That’s what we call evidence; that’s what we call logic. What a blow this is for all the haters.
  4.  This must be how you felt when you returned from the Galapagos Islands with your suitcases full of birds.
  5. Jokes. Joooooookes.
  6. I am desperate to believe in astrology, and so I will take any sad little shard of information and frame it in a way that supports this faith. You, on the other hand, did not seem unambiguously delighted about finding evidence in support of the theory of evolution.
  7. You were raised to believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible, and were sent to Cambridge in preparation for the priesthood. Turning out to be the person who pretty much blew all that out of the water must have been quite a trial.
  8. We are told that it did a real number on your nerves. We are told that it gave you a dying sensation.
  9. You had a tormented relationship with Christianity for the rest of your life.
  10. There is a whole corner of the internet dedicated to “proving” that on your deathbed, you recanted, and gave yourself up unto the Lord etc. It is further claimed that while you were dying, you “admitted that you were a young man.”
  11. Do I need to point out that you lived to be as old as the absolute hills?
  12. It is all such crap, and has been refuted so many times.
  13. This particular corner of the internet is only interesting because of how badly these people want it to be true. They are desperate to believe, in the face of all evidence, that you arranged for a small group of Sunday school children to sing you off into the next world.
  14. You would probably have a lot more sympathy for them than I do.
  15. This is yet one more reason why you are Charles Darwin, and I am just a person who knows that astrology is effing nonsense but still spent an hour making a birthchart for her ex on alwaysastrology.com.
  16. Happy Birthday.
  17. charles