Happy Birthday Patricia Highsmith
- You old rogue.
- You old so and so.
- You are interesting in that you managed to get on just about everyone’s tits.
- Gay people sometimes found you Difficult, on account of all the terrible homophobic stuff you said.
- Bigots found you somewhat trying too, on account of your actually being gay.
- You were also an old-style alcoholic and a very mean drunk.
- You used to put snails in your handbag and take them to parties.
- You’d think that this would have endeared you to people – I for one find it charming.
- Apparently not, though. It is genuinely very hard to find someone who liked you.
- What was it? This world is just rammed with bad sorts, so what was it about you that everyone took such great and personal exception to?
- Maybe it was the time when a humble secretary was in love with you, and she brought you flowers, and you threw them on the ground?
- That doesn’t seem so bad though. If I had been there I probably would have laughed.
- It seemed like it sort of suited you, being disliked. Maybe that was the problem?
- You are currently enjoying a revival, though – everyone loves you now, and is choosing to focus on your work as opposed to your truly godawful personality.
- I bet it drives you up the effing wall.