Happy Birthday Patricia Highsmith

by rosalyster

  1. You old rogue.
  2. You old so and so.
  3. You are interesting in that you managed to get on just about everyone’s tits.
  4. Gay people sometimes found you Difficult, on account of all the terrible homophobic stuff you said.
  5. Bigots found you somewhat trying too, on account of your actually being gay.
  6. You were also an old-style alcoholic and a very mean drunk.
  7. You used to put snails in your handbag and take them to parties.
  8. You’d think that this would have endeared you to people – I for one find it charming.
  9. Apparently not, though. It is genuinely very hard to find someone who liked you.
  10. What was it? This world is just rammed with bad sorts, so what was it about you that everyone took such great and personal exception to?
  11. Maybe it was the time when a humble secretary was in love with you, and she brought you flowers, and you threw them on the ground?
  12. That doesn’t seem so bad though. If I had been there I probably would have laughed.
  13. It seemed like it sort of suited you, being disliked. Maybe that was the problem?
  14. You are currently enjoying a revival, though – everyone loves you now, and is choosing to focus on your work as opposed to your truly godawful personality.
  15. I bet it drives you up the effing wall.