Happy Birthday Barack Obama
1. The Washington Post released a list of all the presents you were given between 2009 and 2012, ranked.
2. At the top of their list was “A five-inch Aztec calendar in silver, given by Mexico in 2012″
3. Did you know what an Aztec calendar is, before you got that present?
4. Probably you did. I think we can say for sure that Joe Biden does not know, even today, what is an Aztec calendar.
5. As for me I have no idea what it is, but it sounds excellent.
6. No. 3 on the list was a ping-pong table from the UK. That is such nonsense.
7. Russia, obviously, came through with the goods on a number of occasions.
8. They gave you a rug with your own face on it.
9. They gave you an “11″ x 10″ wooden box, lined with green velvet, has “the President” and “Barack Obama” embossed on top of a green name plate, contains a DVD titled, “Formula of Power” with the President’s picture on the front of the case.” Very good.
10. Also, a “Blu-Ray disc set with leather cases, presented in a 32″ × 17″ wooden display box.” This is in 2010, mind you, when even my parents knew what Blu-Ray was.
11. Looking through the list, you seem to have been given an extraordinary amount of bowls and clocks and decorative wooden boxes.
12. Many vases.
13. Many Ornate Trays.
14. I bet you pined for the days when presidents used to give each other live crocodiles and pandas etc.
15. If I was handing over a present today, I would give you a box of cigarettes.
16. You seem like a person who truly loves to smoke, and you have done an admirable job hiding this from the American people.
16. I wouldn’t present them on an Ornate Tray or anything, I would just put them in your hand and point to the balcony.