Happy Birthday Edmund Hillary
- My dad thinks you are great, although somehow not quite as great as George Mallory.
- This seems unfair.
- Mallory was that special kind of failure that British people love, like Scott of the Antarctic and Andy Murray.
- As well as being a noble failure of the classic type, Mallory was extremely handsome and possibly gay.
- I say “possibly gay”, when what I mean is “definitely”.
- In contrast to all this glamour, you were a tall and uncoordinated man with a keen interest in bees.
- You climbed Everest with apparently no fuss, wearing appropriate clothing.
- Again, this is in contrast to George, who had a go at the summit wearing plus fours, a la Tintin.
- Your coat of arms consists of a blue kiwi bird gripping an ice axe in its claws.
- This seems incredibly literal, but that’s fine.
- The motto, on that same coat of arms, is “NOTHING VENTURE, NOTHING WIN.”
- Something funny about this as well, but who am I to split hairs.
- George Mallory didn’t even have a coat of arms.
- Happy birthday.